My mind blacks out the negative things, maybe that’s why my partner, or whatever he is to me after this weekend, says that he has such painful memories from our time together yet I somehow go through life numb to those things, on to the next step forgetting what happened moments, months and years before. When you grow up with trauma, stress, and abuse how could you survive without focussing only on the good things in life? Maybe the blocked memories have something to do with a survival mechanism that my body created to help me get through all the shit I put up with in my childhood. Bury the dark and let the light shine over you. Embrace what you can control, because then you won’t get hurt. By controlling things you can foresee what is next in store for you right? Wrong. Controlling things works to an extent and then it just backfires, like a shotgun loaded with good intentions that blasts you in the face leaving you with the bitter taste of hope in your mouth.
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